Are you really under Control?

A sperm fertilized an ovum and gave life to the walking shell of nerves and arteries that we call a Human. A shell that constantly dangles between actions, their reactions and consequences.

From the moment you exist, life becomes all about choices and decisions. Choices and decisions that govern your life, dictate the turn and flow your life will take. A butterfly flaps its wings and your entire life might turn upside down. All your miniscule decisions are building blocks to something greater, larger than yourself. Every action plays a vital role in deciding your future 10 years down the line.

The question that arises next is whether we really have control over our decisions? Do we really decide the pieces that go into our puzzle or do we just try to force the pieces that are handed to us? Are our decisions completely un-influenced by the biases that surround us? Will our decisions ever be purely ours?

A 2-year old, still learning the ways of life, has minimal-to-no-control over it. His life is governed by his sleep and digestive cycles. His primal instincts rule his nature and a young kid has basically no control over the path his life takes. As we grow up, grow older, we gradually begin to crave the freedom of choice and decision-making. The phase is famously labelled as “teenager-angst” or “rebel-phase.” The society cannot fathom the mere idea of handing the crucial ability to make decisions over to young adults trying to find their identity, their existence, their place in the world. Parents, relatives, neighbours, elders of society, anybody and everybody even remotely related, all want, sorry, need a say in an individual’s life. The century might change but “We know better” remains constant. The only thing that is constant about life is that it is unique, specifically tailored for an individual, ever-changing. The only way to know it is by living it, experiencing it. Aren’t we all just headless-chickens running around trying to find out the way to remain significant before being buried in a ditch? Anyone who believes otherwise is a fool living a delusion. The only person who knows what’s best for you is you. Not your neighbour or your sabzi-wala or your great-aunt who has spent her life burying her nose where it doesn’t belong. The only person who knows you, knows your deepest, darkest thoughts and desires is you. You and you alone know the future you envision for yourself and efforts and decision making it requires. While it is a basic human behaviour to seek advice and guidance, the luxury of making a decision should fall upon you and your alone. Be it your clothes, career, life partner or the colour of nailpolish that you wear best, in the end, the decision needs to be yours. It is on you to make an informed decision post the safe advice seeking from those around you. It is on you to take control of your life, mistakes and all. Would you rather suffer and learn from your own mistakes or the mistakes forced upon you by others who apparently “know better”.

Take advice. Breathe it all in. Let it settle. And then, take the wheel into your own hands and make sure nobody else is sitting in the driver’s seat of your life. Accept your mistakes, your flaws, your success with open arms and notice the weight of the “know better” lift off your shoulders.

Be in control.

The Corner Piece

A jigsaw puzzle. Multiple pieces that make no sense apart and are a scattered mess of tiny snippets of a big picture waiting to form in front of you. So you find a corner piece and start assembling till that last, crucial piece clicks into place. The core, the thing of attraction, the final picture is usually the complicated centre pieces and not the corner, isolated ones which might just form the edge of the sky, a frame, a distant tree or even a tiny speck of hair or nail of the character you are building. The corner seems mundane compared to the attractive colours of the core. It seems to be a part of the puzzle and yet, could not be more faded into the background, for it is, usually the background.

The corner pieces are the ones that oh-so-beautifully fade into the background and bring the picture together. They bring shape to the mess of the elements inside. They fade, yet have an existence of their own, an essence of their being.

There are individuals who are never the centre of existence, the centre of attention, the colour of a place’s being, the magic of a moment. They’d rather slip into the background and live a life in their own galaxy of a head. They’d rather lie down and look up at the stars than build superficial relationships to the people around them. They’d rather stare down at the vast ocean and dissolve into its waves than worry about the issues at land. They choose to live in the stories in their heads and melt away the troubles of today, the loneliness of the present. They find it difficult, each day, to fit in, to open up, to trust that the world outside, will meet the standards of the beautiful galaxy of thoughts they have inside. Their brain is wired to dissolve into a tiny cocoon at the first sign of trouble, at the first hint of loneliness. Ironic, isn’t it? Choosing to be alone to avoid loneliness. Well, it is better to be alone than feel alone in a room full of people. They choose the life they want, the people they want and situations they want to be in. A constant nag, a tug they feel in the back of their heads makes them want to cancel plans, sit at home, curl up in their blankets and be away from the possibility of disappointment.

It is only when someone, breaks through this wall, empathises with their reasoning and cares enough to poke and prodder their cocoon, that they’ll allow you access to the rusted, sealed off corridor to their hearts, their trust. Their trust is hard to come by, and even harder to keep. They see the world as black and white, an absolute. It is either this or that, nothing in between. They are there for you till the end of the line or not at all, and they expect the same from you. It is either all in, or not at all. It’s the middle that worries them. Because it is easy to sway in the middle, to land up on the wrong side, away from them. It is the frightening, unstable middle that seals off the corridor. They make promises as sacred as the pinky promise and never look back. It is always, all in.

These are the people that more often than not, fade away into the background. They live a colourful, care free life in the shadows. It is the daily, the routine, the mundane that can provide the most enlightening experiences, only if you pay a little close attention to them. You’ll see them bobbing their head to a song playing in their head, smiling at the waves that wash their feet, dancing till their feet hurts, hugging you a little tighter if they see you low, giving that one encouraging nod you need so desperately. Because living in the background, living in the shadows, sensitises you to the emotions around you, the people around you.

In their head, they are the corner pieces. The pieces that fade away once the centre colour pops up. The ones overpowered by the the more interesting centre pieces. But the thing about jigsaw is that ever piece has a role to play, a place where it fits in. Every element contributes to the bigger picture, every piece plays a critical role. Miss one piece, and the puzzle is forever incomplete. The corner pieces might not always pop up, but they have a place in the puzzle. They belong. They contribute. They make the picture complete, beautiful. They make the picture. They bring it all together.

So if you have or ever do feel like a corner piece, know that without it, where would we even begin?

Mediocre.

You have to come first.

You need to win this tournament.

You need to top the class this time.

We’ve all heard these sentences sometime in our lives. The push, the inspiration, the challenge everybody gives us to succeed, become No. 1. That’s the goal, isn’t it? To come out on top, to be better than everybody. That is what everyone around us and we ourselves aspire to be. The first place is where all of us want to be.

But some of us are born different. We never top. But we always run the race.

Some of us our good at drawing but never win that art competition. Some of us can sing well but never get a chance to be the lead singer. Some of us can dance well, yet never catch everybody’s attention in a club. Some write well but never get published. Some of us are always two steps away from that No. 1 position.

In the rat race of achieving success, we often forget what matters. We give up if we fail to achieve that no. 1 criteria. We lose all hope. We lose our will, our interest in a particular talent we possess just because someone else is better at it. While striving for being the best is never a negative trait, losing all hope after not being in the first place, is one. Everybody will tell you how great and important it is to be the best, nobody tells you that it is okay to not be one.

Remember, there’s only ‘one’ first place. Not everybody in the world is going to earn that first place. As demotivating as it seems, it’s okay to not be the no. 1 at what you do.

All you need to do is be the best version of yourself. A version that is better than your last. You are all the competition you need. Not Sharma ji ka beta. If today, you did better than your yesterday’s self, you have succeeded. You have won at life. The constant assurance we need to be better than everybody else will be our downfall. The unhealthy competition that festers in each one of us, is fed to us since our birth is a curse that we willingly continue to cast upon ourselves. I want to be better than everybody. Instead, I want to better than I am. That’s it. That’s the mantra you need to keep your head clear and focused on your goals. While competition can help us push ourselves, it is not the only way.

Remove the sapling from the constraints of the tiny pot, plant it in the soil, and see it blossom into a mighty tree. It is only when you remove the constraints of unhealthy competition can you flourish in your zone. Notice it yourselves: you do better when you are alone, in the absence of watchful, judgemental eyes of the society. You dance more freely, you draw your feelings, you sing your heart out. You reach your true potential. And then, the No. 1 Medal stops seeming so important, so crucial. It becomes mundane compared to your own reality.

It is only then, that being ordinary, mediocre, not being the best becomes obsolete. It loses meaning. No. 3 or 5 or 100 doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that your ordinary, is the best version of your ordinary.

After all, there is something extraordinary about being ordinary, isn’t it?

It wasn’t HER fault.

Rape is not just a physical action. It is a mindset. No rapist wakes up one fine morning and decides to rape someone. It is a seed that grows; it is a seed watered by the mentality of the population in general.

Everytime you kill a girl fetus, everytime you decide that your son’s education is more important than you daughter’s, you water that seed. Everytime we allow a boy to hit a girl as an expression of his liking, pull her ponytails or push her books off the table, we normalise violence as an expression of all emotions. Everytime you ask a teenage girl to hide her bra strap, bodyshame her because of her growing breasts, force her to lengthen her skirt to not ‘distract’ boys, you make the female anatomy a prize one must conquer. Female body is sexualized from her birth to her deathbed.

It was her fault. She was wearing a skirt.
Then why do women in burkas get raped?
It was her fault. She was a teenager begging for attention.
Then why did an old aunty wearing a saree with her head covered get raped?
Why did a 8 months old baby girl get raped?
Did she invite it? Was she showing too much skin?
Rape. Rape is NEVER the victim’s fault. As much as we, the audience, love to comment from the sidelines, as much as we enjoy victim-shaming, it is NEVER the victim’s fault. Don’t shame a girl for being born with a vagina. It is NOT her dress, her religion, her age, her residence, her habits, HER fault.
Rape is a mindset. It is a mindset that fuels a heinous thought that a women’s body is a piece of flesh to be used at the leisure of a man’s raging hormones. It is a mindset that a woman is nothing more than a vagina made for a man’s pleasure.

Remember Nirbhaya? The outrage, the pure anger and disgust every single person in the country felt? Remember that anger? The protests, the candles, the march, the tears. It was the time that the country joined hands and decided to fight this evil. Now that the criminals have been punished, is that it? Does the anger fizzle away? Did we eradicate this disease, this flithy mindset from the country?
Remember the rage you felt when you read about Nirbhaya. Remember the disgust. And use this memory to find the strength to call out and stand against every roadside romeo who calls a girl ‘item’, ‘bomb’, ‘maal’, ‘pataka’. Stop any male AND female sexualising any human. Listen to what makes an individual comfortable and act accordingly. Understand the concept of ‘consent‘. It all starts here. Find the strength to cut it out at the root and maybe, maybe you’ll save someone’s innocence.

Alone?

And in a room full of people, I felt alone.

Vibe. Connection. Frequency.

This is an important essence to any relationship. It ascertains your level of comfort with an individual, you willingness to open up to them, to let them in. It is the key factor that decides whether that person will be someone you only politely smile at across the hall or be someone you’d walk the halls with, laughing and connecting. It is the criteria that decides all your future encounters with people and your ability to enjoy yourself around them. You need your frequencies to match before you start putting in efforts to build and nurture your relationship. Efforts without a deeper connection is watering the soil without planting the seed, hoping the plant to grow. It is in vain. Such relationships fizzle out with time. They do not survive the turmoils and hurricanes of your relationship.

Whether you agree to it or not, whether you listen to it or not, your gut always has a way of knowing who you would connect with. We have an internal compass that directs us to the people with whom our true and authentic self comes forward. It usually takes a short interaction for our gut to establish a real connection with someone and our body reacts to it. Our shoulders loosen up, the tensed brow creases disappear, our stance loses its defensive nature, the laughter doesn’t seem forced, the wall behind our eyes crumbles. Our mind and body accepts the presence of the person we vibe with. And usually, it all happens in a instant. One moment that defines our frequency with the person in front us, one moment is all it takes to be in our comfort zone.

With the increasing pace of our lives, the total disregard for emotions, connections and vibes, the deeper desire of climbing up the social ladder, disappearance of deep, meaningful connections; we’ve all forgotten the need to be in our comfort zone. We are all so busy “socialising” that we have become lazy to develop deeper relations. We all want to surround ourselves with a crowd, a long list of instagram followers and facebook friends that we no longer have a group, a friend, a person with who we have a connection with, with whom our frequency matches. The world has become a mere popularity contest and nothing more. Everybody wants to be constantly surrounded with a group that lives in the moment, jokes and celebrates life like there is no tomorrow. Nobody wants to open up. We do not surround ourselves with people who have seen our ugly, crying self. Someone who shares our interest, our view of the world, our way of living. Someone who pushes our boundaries and helps expand them, someone who has seen our tear-streaked face and not only the mask we wear around our entire life. Our this attitude has become a habit that has numbed our gut to connection, vibes and frequency. Because being a part of something is a trend now, isn’t it?

It isn’t till that moment, that one moment that you realise how alone you are. When you are at a party and you realise you don’t belong there, to the place, to the people. When everybody around you is enjoying something you have least interest in. When you are alone with yourself and you don’t recognise ‘you’. You’ve moulded your needs, likings, interests according to the people around you. You don’t have anything about yourself to call your own. You start missing the connection that never was. In a room full of people, you feel alone.

But if everybody has felt like that once in their life, if everybody has felt ‘alone‘, are you really alone? Or do you just need to find someone you connect with?

Trial and Error.

We’ve loved. We’ve lost. We’ve trusted. We’ve been betrayed. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried.

We’ve had our ups. We’ve had our downs.

There are a few of us who still have our that one childhood friend to call in the middle of the night and gossip. For others, there have been a series of relationships through years, though significant at the time, have faded away as moments passed by. Maybe it was the distance; Maybe it was the mismatched frequency; Maybe it wasn’t just meant to be.

The series of relationships we encounter in our lives, some docile and innocent, others being the hurricane they are. As we look back, we realise that sooner or later, it all comes to an end, it is all finite. That childhood friend moved to another city, the school partner found another buddy to share his lunch with, your first love broke your heart, the kind stranger on the bus never showed up again. Sooner or later, it all comes to an end. You might move on, gather your feelings, shove them deep inside and vow to never look back. Yet, these feelings have a sly manner of creeping back up during those late nights. The nights which come with a bundle of regrets. That “What if?” which comes crawling every time you bury the memories deep within.

It is usually at the crack of dawn that realisation hits a few of us, few who have explored every ‘maybe’, every ‘what if?’, every ounce of regret. A realisation that there is no screening process, no manual, no instruction booklet. Every person you meet, every friend you make, every stranger you smile at, every partner you trust, every person you’ve lost‌, every loss you think about and regret, is now an experience, a lesson, a tiny bookmarked point in the manual you make along on the journey. It does not matter whether the connection you have lasts for a minute or a decade, if it was real or a fluttering wish. The end of the journey, the memories, the lesson is all that matters. Maybe, the few friends who left you yesterday, filtered out your bestfriend of today. Maybe the two bad relationships you lived through before, paved way for your life partner of tomorrow. Maybe, what happened yesterday, just made your tomorrow possible.

It is all about trial and errors. Don’t beat yourself up for living through your trial phase to get that near perfect tomorrow. Don’t beat yourself up over broken connections. Don’t let the nights invite any regrets.

Because without those trials, without those errors, would you ever find your perfect ending?

Mirror Mirror.

“I bought a new car.”

“Oh you did? I already had one. It is so much better than yours.”

 

“Oh, I have been having a miserable day.”

“Really? My day was worse. Much worse than yours.”

Haven’t we all met such people in our life? People who will always keep their happiness, their misery, their sorrow before anybody else’s. People who fail to look beyond that bubble of “self”.

A very common phrase that every person uses:

Look in the mirror before commenting anything.

“Aayine mai jaake dekh apne aap ko.”

So why exactly is this phrase used?

It is used for looking at ourselves before we say or act regarding something. When we look into the mirror, it is not only our physical appearance that is reflected. We see our inner self. Our soul. Our deepest secrets. Our ugly truths. We see beyond just skin and flesh. We see ourselves for who we are.

So how does this “reflection” be of any use to us in correcting our behavior and feelings towards another being?

It is a basic human instinct to connect more with a person who is going through a similar situation, a similar feeling, a similar emotion. We feel more empathetic towards someone who is living through something we have experienced. We look at them and see a faint hint of ourselves. And there is no better way to be there for someone when you put yourself in their shoes, isn’t it?

But there are a few who consider the “mirror” as a concrete wall in which only their emotions are allowed to exist. They look in the mirror not to develop a sense of empathy or understanding towards another person’s emotions, but as a means through which they can only exist with their experiences and wallow in their sorrow. They refuse to see beyond that concrete wall. They refuse to consider any emotion that is foreign to their bubble. All they see is “me, myself and I”.

This is not the worst part.
What is worse is that they expect others to consider their bubble too. They expect others to dwell upon and be a part of the emotions they go through. It does not matter what that other individual feels or is going through. All that matters is “them”.

We often look at these people with a sense of pity and we try to help them. Yes, people who dare to put someone else’s emotion before their’s do exist.

What happens to them? They get crushed under the weight of the wall they tried breaking.

The thing is, people are so satisfied with their own emotions that they do not want to feel anything else. They do not have the guts to feel the pain of others.

Hence, THE WALL.

When asked to look into the mirror to reflect upon someone else’s condition, what happens?

They see their own misery. They also manage to suck you into that void, a place where you feel nothing but their sadness and happiness.

You will smile when they do, you will laugh when they will, you will cry for them, with them.

Will they?

No. Because your emotions are not allowed to exist. Because you need to feel what they do, not what you think you do.

So is there a way out of this?

There is. There always is.

The first step is to realise. Realise that the mirror we are looking in, is the wrong one. Realise that it is time to pick that thing up and let it shatter. Along with that, the immense feeling of self-pity, being self-centered, thinking about only “me”, will shatter. Realise that the proof of love is not to dwell in someone’s emotions, but it is that attempt they make to break down your mirror, your wall. Realise that each and every person is going through something. Something that is breaking them from the inside even when they refuse to show it to the outside world.

This realisation is all that takes to break down that wall, that mirror. Because, one we understand that, we see the world a bit clearly. We see that we weren’t the only ones who were trying to break down that wall. We had many who were trying to show us the real mirror.

The mirror that makes us a human.

A human who cares.

Without it, we are selfish people destroying every and anything around us.

Look at your mirror. See if it is the correct one.

And today’s breaking news is?

 

In times where staying connected, having knowledge about events from all over the world is of utmost importance, the major sources of this information are the “news channels”. So I switch on to some xyz channel and there are continuous flashes of a women’s cleavage (of course censored). The words “BREAKING NEWS” cover the entire screen and then when the entire story is put out, it is about some actress wearing a particular dress at a function where her cleavage becomes“breaking news”. This piece of news is run for over an hour and the same is repeated a day later questioning if this was an “intentional” mistake. Where there are groups of people fighting for the self-respect of the women of our society, here we make the display of her body and call it“news”. If such a news item is not available, the next item they go to is RELATIONSHIPS.

“AAJ YEH HERO AUR YEH HEROINE DIKHE THE SAATHMAI COFFEE PEETE HUE. KYA PYAAR KA MAUSAM AA GAYA HAI INKE LIYE?”

And yes, this is a “BREAKING NEWS”, or in more familiar terms-SANSANI KHABAR. So this is what is defined as“news”. Not the numerous murders, not the various acts of terrorism. No, that is an “everyday thing”. We will devote an entire news piece, an hour of it to a random person speaking ill of the nation but not to youngsters fighting for their rights. We will not show the numerous kids dying of hunger or begging on the streets just to have one meal. We will not create awareness regarding the various health and environment related issues but we will show a 3 hour news piece of two politicians abusing each other over the screen. Yes that is what is to be done because it is necessary to keep the TRPS up. What is better than the display of pictures of female body to shoot up the TRP? Why think of the effect it has on the masses? Why think of the consequences of a particular news item on a person or community? We just need to pull up the number of our viewers and be content with it.

“AN ELEPHANT IS STILL LOOSE. IT TRAMPLED A SCOOTER PARKED NEAR BY.”

This statement was flashed at least for an hour or two and guess what? This also was a SANSANI KHABAR.

Rape victims are asked questions: How did you feel after getting raped?

Statements like ‘It was the girl’s fault that she was out late in the night’ ‘Two movie stars spent an evening together having dinner. So are they having an affair?’ should not be encouraged by continuously providing them news coverage. Wardrobe malfunctions in any event should not be turned into breaking news as person’s attire or his/her body is never a “news item”. The social and personal effect it makes cannot be put into words.

Making up a news item just because you don’t have news at that moment is both morally and ethically wrong. News media is responsible only to deliver the information about the events happening and not making a huge issue of it. An emotional mindset needs to be maintained, ie, consent to the feelings of the victim, the viewers needs to be made while talking about an issue. Because the media has a greater impact on our minds than what we realize. It builds or breaks a man’s character in the society. It decided who you are for the society. It controls all the cards of changing a man’s future. And with this control, comes a responsibility of being kind, considerate. Don’t only be a reporter, be a human too.

Indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword.

Is it the end?

                                                                 Sometimes in life, we come to a point where you don’t really understand what your relationship with a person means. When you don’t understand if you really are significant for the other one. When you feel that your bond with the other person has the same essence as before. A time, when you realize that your relationship with the other individual has changed, has become something that is not clear, something that is difficult for you to accept, and something that was not there before. You realize that the bond, the love, the friendship, the comfort you felt for and with the person is missing, it feels incomplete. And then, when you try to mend it, when you try to fix the broken parts, when you try to restore everything to what it was before..it doesn’t work. No matter how hard you try, after every effort the person seems a step farther away. The more you try to hold on to the person the more he seems to drift away. The more you cling on the memories of the past, the more the present seems to slip away from you. In the end, when you sit and analyze the situation, you blame yourself. You think that maybe it was you who was the wrong in the entire equation. Maybe it was you who messed up the entire wonderland. And at one point, you decide to give up. You decide to give up the hope. The hope that things will be fine. The hope that you will get back what you lost. It is that time when you start believing that maybe you’ll get the answer when you remove yourself from the equation. When you distance yourself away from that person and let him be. You believe that they would be happy and at peace without you. Without hearing you blabbering about your day’s routine, without your occasional breakdowns about life, without having to bear your burden. And you know what? That seems like a perfect thing to do at that time both for you and him. But is it something you can really do? Is it something that you should really do? The answer is no.

                                                                            Yes, there are times when things go wrong. When there comes a tension between two really close people. When things seem to not go the usual way.  But that is the way things are supposed to be. It is when things go wrong that you need each other, that you realize that your relation, your bond with your other half is all what matters. It is not all sunny and smiling. When storms come, you realize how much your bond can withstand. Giving up on a relation is never an answer. NEVER. It may seem chaotic. But every chaos is just a system that is waiting to be organized. That is waiting for you not give up. It is usually the moment after the moment you decide to give up that assures your success. Maybe a little bit of effort would have put everything where it was meant to be. Maybe..Maybe that little effort was that one piece of the puzzle that made a beautiful picture. You just need that one piece. Thing may not go back to what they were. But they will always lead to something better. Something that your relation needed. Something that will give a new definition to your bond. It is never an end. It is just a beginning to something better.

The one who stands by you.

                                                                              Friends: The people who we fall back on when the situation is against us. The people we expect to stand by our side when things fall apart. But how do we decide who these people are? How do we differentiate between people who really are our friends and the ones who ACT like they will be someone we can rely on? In the times when loyalty has become just a concept and not an act, when people have just become instruments of our gain, when the true definition of friendship is lost, who do we trust? Who do we put our faith in?

                                                                                As people who meet new individuals everyday, who communicate with people worldwide, we truly lack the eyes of identifying the truth of a person. Inspite of knowing that outer appearance are deceptive, that a person isn’t always who he shows us to be, we put our faith in people very easily. Where one finds it difficult to find one true friend, I see people having 10 or more bestfriends. Every other person they meet, every person they spend a month of being friends with turns out to be their best-friend. One day they meet and the next day you see them posting pictures on Facebook with the caption “bffs for ever ♥♥”. I really find it surprising that an individual can believe that 10 or more people can be their bestfriends, their soulmates, the ones they can confide in. The word “best-friend” has left no meaning. Because every person you find cannot be your best-friend, an exchange of two words doesn’t define friendship. The tragedy is that the meaning of true friendship has gained the definition that if you can abuse the other one, you’ll are “bffs” and that is the ultimate friendship. Its funny isn’t it that we base our most precious and valuable relationship on the number of abuses friends share. People explain that it shows the level of comfort in the friendship but would you really enjoy being constantly spoken to in a rude manner just to prove that someone is comfortable with you? Is it really the sign of true friendship?

                                                                                      The what would you define as a true friend? A person worthy of your trust? What I truly believe is that you can never go in search of that person and find them. You usually just accidentally bang into them and in no time, you click with them. These “accidents” are planned, planned by the universe to give you were happy ending. When you meet this person, you need not think twice about trusting them. It is involuntary. Every gut feeling tells you to confide in them and assures you that your secrets are safe with them. You don’t find the need to test their friendship because at every turn of life, they have proved to be loyal and have kept the promise of friendship. And the best part about it? You become yourself. You don’t find the need to be different, someone you are not. You can spill your ice cream, fall down the stairs, laugh your heart out sitting on the pavement. You can be YOURSELF. And that is what friendship is truly about. It not the gifts or the abuses or the constant need to be in touch. Its about helping each other grow and helping each other become themselves. The bond of friendship doesn’t waver with time, instead it becomes stringer and a  healthy relationship. It nurtures your soul and helps you become a better self. A friend pushes you to be a better version of yourself and he stands by you. I hope in this crowd of fake people, you find your BEST-FRIEND.