Log Kya Kahenge?

There are 3 steps to decide your career in India.

1-Develop an interest in a field.

2-Get an approval of your parents.

3-Decide if that profession is accepted in the society. (Repeat step 1 if your interest isn’t socially acceptable.)

                                                  Yes, most of the decisions we take are scrutinized, judged and then commented upon by the society. If you are something other than a doctor, engineer or lawyer, you are not ‘successful’ in life. Who decides that? The “log” part of our society does, the people who think that pursuing something other than the already established and famous fields means that you aren’t good or smart enough. Why is that said? Why is anything other than medical or engineering seem less significant?

                                                        All the actions we take, every person we meet, every place we go, every career we pursue, we are constantly watched and judged by the society. Many dreams have perished due to this life-changing sentence: Log kya kahenge? Under the fear of being judged by the crowd, we give up on our hopes and ambitions, dreams and aspirations. Everything, from our clothes to our life partner to our career is judged by the society. We cannot choose to become a DJ or a hair stylist or a tattoo artist since they fall under the category of “unsuccessful” jobs and then LOG KYA KAHENGE? A girl cannot wear certain types of clothes and a guy cannot have a tattoo on his arm because LOG KYA KAHENGE? You cannot divorce your husband who beats you black and blue because LOG KYA KAHENGE? Each and every step of our life we take, we have to fight with the society to prove ourselves. No matter how successful we are in our life, we can never be good enough for the society. All that is displayed by the public about us are our faults and miseries.

                                                     So what do you do about this? Do you let the community eat up your dreams and let yourself live a life you are clearly unhappy and disappointed with? Will you settle for a daily 9-5 job when you rather live a satisfying life as a DJ or hair stylist? What do you do? What you do is not pay heed to unpleasant comments of the society and do what fits best for you. It is not the society which will stand by you in times of your downfalls so it will not be the society that decides what makes you happy. Prove the society wrong by excelling at what you do. Instead of giving in to the attempts made by the society to bring you down, use it as an inspiration to boost your self esteem. Then when the threatening question, “LOG KYA KAHENGE?” haunts you, tell yourself that Log kahenge, toh kya?

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Who created these terrorists?

                                       With the repeated flashes of news of violence, terror and inhumanity all over the world, we all realize how unsafe and terrorizing this world has become. The assurance of reaching back home from work unharmed and alive is a concept that has been crushed by these acts of violence and terrorism. We live in constant fear, fear of being blown up while having our morning coffee, fear of losing our loved one to an act created to spread terror among the people, fear of discovering that your ever-smiling milkman may be a terrorist wearing a mask of smiles and friendliness. We all must have pondered upon this question quite a few times of WHY does this happen? Why are humans so willing to kill other members of their own species? What drives them to this madness? Why do they term “terrorism” merely an act of true and deep “patriotism”? What makes them terrorists?

                                       I think the answer to this is the society. We do know that such kind of people are always driven by the urge to pursue, to prove something. They nurture a certain sort of hatred against a nation, or against the whole world, the humanity in it for that matter. They see the world as evil and consider their act of terrorism as a solution to end this evil. What drives this hatred? It the differences in that prevails in the society. When you ill-treat your maid’s son, are you unknowingly planting a seed of hatred in that little one’s mind? When a certain class of people is treated unfairly, in the field of education, health or job opportunity, is it developing frustration and deep dislike towards the people of the society and the authorities. Constant bickering between two classes of society only adds to the fuel of this lit fire of hatred and detest. An individual, suffering this constant discrimination, ill-treatment and under continuous influence of news of violence, fights and arguments tends to generate emotions of intolerance and resentment towards the society. He no longer believes in the justice system of the authority and resides on extreme measures. He bores a thought that an end to humans will end this evil. And established group of these terrorists feed on these thoughts and use it to destroy the society. So what led to this destruction?

                                           Yes, the lack of sensitivity towards another human being led to this. We as a species, are separated due to our nationality, caste, religion, race, color and what not. We have kept the social norms above humanity. And when terror like this falls upon us, we help them succeed in their motive by turning on each other and blaming a particular religion. Aren’t we simply helping these terrorists win their cause by breaking apart our unity? What we need in times like these is to stand by each other and help eradicate these violent and loathsome mindsets. We need to recognize ourselves as humans first and then as individuals belonging to certain religion. Changing our profile pictures or writing pages about current events won’t help in putting and end to this terror. We need to change our views, our behavior towards each other as humans. Humans without their humanity are simply flesh and bones with nothing to them. Some awareness, some alertness regarding these activities, little tenderness towards the victims and the people around us, a feeling of national pride and commitment makes a lot of difference. These terrorists are a small group of people. If we unite, we stand together as people and fight against them, they have no chance of surviving. The world will be a peaceful place with minimal negativity around us and our future generations. All we need to do is be HUMANS.

 

Pistanthrophobia.

                                         All relationships, be it friendship, marriage, parent-child relationship, student-teacher relationship, every relationship is based on one basic, crucial ingredient-Trust. Unless you completely trust a person, you cannot give your 100% into the relationship. You cannot confide into someone if you do not have that faith in the other person. During times of difficulties, the only means by which a bond between two individuals survives is when their trust in each other remains intact. No storm, no difficult must be able to waver your trust in the other one and then can you say that you completely trust a person. However, trust is an emotion I’ve noticed disappearing in people. We always live in our shell, afraid to open up to someone under the fear that they may expose our darkest, deepest secrets to the world and we may not be able to bear that betrayal. I do not blame us since people who keep their word have become rare.

                                         A quality that stands out in all noble men is their ability to keep their word. They do not waver from their promise under any harsh circumstances.  The quote that “promises are meant to be broken” is the thought process of someone who is not brave enough to hold on to his word. Promises are made to be kept. They are made under the belief that we will stick to them under all causes. Fulfilled promises are the mark of a true noble man. But today humans are becoming so self-centered and selfish that they are ready to break their own word under the context of fulfilling their needs. A man, happily married for 10 years cheats on his wife to gain sexual pleasures. Colleagues cheat on their fellows to gain financial benefits. Friends cheat on friends under jealousy. Isn’t this enough to show how unimportant promises are? Promises as divine as a marriage are broken. How will one ever believe another human if a word has no value? Friends, if you want to maintain any relationship, be it professional or personal, you need to keep your word.

                                   Keeping your word doesn’t only apply to promises that have a huge meaning behind them. Tiny things like reaching at a decided time, getting a flower one promised, delivering the assignment on a given date, keeping the little secrets with yourself also make a drastic difference. Only when you can keep these tiny little promises, you will be able to fulfill is huge responsibility like marriage.

                                 A broken word, an unfulfilled promise, a shattered trust breaks a person apart. When a person confides completely in you, shares every tiny little moment with you, shares his life with you, it becomes your responsibility to not break his trust. When you break a person’s trust, when you disappoint them, it destroys them. They blame themselves, they put themselves at fault for trusting you. Once a person’s trust in you is broken, it can never come back to what it was before. They may forgive and accept you but they never will feel the same about you. There will always be that hollow pit, that pierced part of their heart that will forbid them to trust you again. Hurt a person all you want, but never break their trust. It is an irreparable mistake. It breaks the bond you share. It makes them fear the mere idea of trusting someone –Pistanthrophobia. Keep your word and nothing will ever harm your relationship. No storm can ever break it. Have the chivalry to stand up to your word and it makes it a lot easier to trust someone. Be that person.

                                                                                                                                                                                              -K.

Strangers.

                                                                     Humans are one of the most interesting creatures in this world. Inspite of belonging to the same species, each and every human has a different soul. Some are sweet, some arrogant, some helpful, some fierce while others docile, some in need of power, some thirsting for love, few sure about their goals, others having a blurry future, some finding happiness in the tiniest of moments, some picking faults in the biggest achievements. But the quality that is common in each member of this family is the need to confide in someone, the need to speak to a person, the need to have someone to share their joys and sorrows with. Humans NEED other humans. But the biggest question that imposes for our need is that whom do we confide in? Whom do we trust? Whom do we speak to without being judged? Who?

                                                                   The answer I find apt to this question is Strangers. This thought pops up innumerable questions in your mind. Are strangers really trustworthy? The answer is yes and no. Not everyone we come across is worth speaking to but a few are. The reason some people speak to strangers is because they will never come across them again. They don’t know you. They don’t know where you are from. They have no knowledge about your past. The only thing they are aware about is the fact that you are a human who is in need to share his thoughts, happiness and sorrow. A thing we all must have experienced- a smile, a sweet, genuine smile from a complete stranger while walking down the road. It brings an immediate jolly feeling in our hearts. It makes us believe in good of the world, the humanity of humans. It makes you have confidence in the fact that someone unknown, a complete foreigner, can also be a good friend.

                                                                    A thing I’ve noticed about people is that we are much more  kinder to strangers than to people we know in and out. A person who gets irritated at his own acquaintance when he drops something runs to the aid of someone who he has never seen before. We name it “common courtesy” but lose this same courtesy when it comes to dealing with our loved ones. Maybe we are trying to create a good impression of ourselves in front of world but this trait of ours regarding strangers make them a much better option for sharing our words with. A friend of mine narrated an incident regarding her experience with strangers. Her family, on a trip, came across another Gujarati family and they bonded well. She did not feel that they were people she did not know. Instead, their behavior made her believe that they were family. Sharing food, jokes, playing cards, her travel time was spent beautifully in the presence of people who once unknown to her, became someone she immensely admired. We all have met someone, some unknown personality we immediately take liking for and believe that we could speak to them without any regrets.

                                                                This is what a friendly, kind stranger can do to us. It can help us pour out our feelings without the fear of being judged or blamed. We’ve come across groups of people in local transport merrily yapping about about their life to people they don’t really know. What makes them do this? Its the need to talk to someone and the ability of that someone to listen to them. Remember, your one smile can ease away the pain of other, can remind a person of happiness of life. Your listening ear can help another soul be at peace. Strangers, kind strangers can be a blessing in someone’s life. Be that stranger to someone. Be a ‘stranger’ that brings a smile on someone’s face. Be that STRANGER.

                                                                                                                                -K.

Educated?

          Education is the most powerful weapon we can use to change the world.

-Nelson Mandela.

                                    This is something we unanimously agree on. Education. The key factor to success and progress. With the swift pace of development and necessity of money power, the requirement of being educated is increasing simultaneously. A man without education has no value in the society. But with changing times, the meaning of education is changing. It has evolved from the gurukul system to the teaching schools of the modern times. Has something else changed too other than the pattern? Yes. It has.

                                    The vast concept of being learned is now being restricted to only to the arenas of career building and money-gaining. The idea of “learning” to be a learned person is no longer there. Conceptual understanding and implementation of various aspects of education in daily life is disappearing. Education means giving an individual knowledge about the world, its laws, the natural happenings, basic human behavior, ethics, culture, discipline. Basically education is to help an individual learn about himself, the society and the universe. It is studying about the your interests and developing them. But looking at today’s education system, we no longer see the beauty and essence of the main idea behind ‘educating’ a person. It has all come down to the daily routine of waking up, going to the school with a sleepy-face and closed mind, eating up the textbook words and reproducing it in the  wildly feared EXAMS.  This is EDUCATION.

                                  The fact that students find schools and colleges “hell” shows how uninteresting and burdening our present education culture is. It teaches you all the laws put forth but newton but not how he came about thinking of those. It teaches you that sine0°=0 and sine90°=1 but it doesn’t teach you how to save money and make good use of resources. Today, a guy having masters in literature rapes a girl. Literate children ill treat their elders. Is this what education is? How does knowing about chemical reactions and knowing the area of a triangle help us in developing our character? Chemistry, maths, physics is all a very important part of education. but its a PART of education. Education is not only it. An educated person is expected to have good conduct, good behavior in society. Today’s education system does not cover that aspect of education.

                                  It is very important that students must act as ‘learners’ and be excited to gain knowledge. Clearly the present system is not making it any easier for students to develop interest and likely towards a subject. Teachers need to make the subject more likable and attractive. Only then will students be ‘learners’ and not ‘listeners’. Moreover, the main idea behind education-developing an individual-needs to be brought back. Until then will we be really educated?

Magic.

                                                Magic? In this age where every statement demands a proof, magic sounds like an absurd concept. It belongs to the ‘fairy tale’ category, something which is for ‘kids’, something that is invented by humans to pull them away from the reality of life. But let me reveal to you a little secret. Magic exists.

                                                  Nature shows us magic from the moment the little zygote grows into a fully developed 3 kilogram baby. Isn’t it simply pure magic when a tiny cell becomes the complete you? Birth of a life. Isn’t that the most evident form of magic? Magic surrounds us. It runs in our veins. Have you ever looked at the night sky? Seeing the moon, 384,400km away with our own naked eyes, admiring and savoring its beauty is all what defines magic. It is the happiness in tiny little moments which present to us magic of this world. That tiny green caterpillar crawling around, embraces its life as a beautiful, majestic butterfly! Isn’t it simply mesmerizing? The periodic rising and setting of the sun, the changing of the color of the sky into vivid shades of red, orange, blue and violet. You see magic unfolding itself right in front of your eyes when you see the paintings on that vast sky. The warmth you feel in a loved one’s embrace, the butterflies flying in your stomach when you kiss your loved one, the assurance a child feels by his mother’s presence, the guarantee someone’s firm hold give us makes us believe a little more in something extraordinary happening in this universe, the magic of the universe.

                                           Magic resides in each one of us. The tingly feeling we get every once in a while is magic inside us waiting to come out. What we need to do to let that magic out is to believe. Believe in the universe, believe in that whispers, the spells that the nature enchants you with, believe in that magic inside you. As long as you don’t lose hope, the spells will show their effect. They will enchant your life and make it magical.

Believe in that magic.

-K.

Thantophobia

                   We need love. A love that consumes us. A love that changes everything-our perspective,our concept of love..everything. It shakes us and brings out the best in us. It turns our world upside down and makes us believe in something we’ve never thought about before. It makes us a better person. We feel alive when we are with ‘that’ person. Most of us at some point in our life are successful in finding that love. A love which is magical and  awakens us.

                                   But what comes with this love is a fear. Thantophobia. A fear of what will happen if that love is no more around us. We live with that fear and we cling to that love. We start depending on it. Our happiness, our joys, the good parts of our life start revolving around that person. We believe that nothing else in the world can makes us happier. Everything about us resides in them. And that’s when we start getting attached to that person. We start clinging on to that feeling. The consequence of which are mostly that we do lose that person. We lose that person because we suffocate them. A fear that possesses us makes us go wild. We are in constant need of pacification. Even a smallest act of departure eats us up. We get paranoid. No amount of efforts from the person’s part makes us trust the fact that they will remain by our side. What do you do then? Let it eat you up? Let it destroy the most beautiful feeling you have for that other one? What do you?

What you do my friend is shake yourself up, put the thought away and trust the other one. Believe the fact that as long as you’ll are together, you will stay with each other and contribute to the other one’s happiness. What happens later in life should not affect what is going on in your life. You stay together later or you don’t, love that person will all your heart. Be with him. Grow with him. If somewhere ahead it doesn’t work, it simply means that it wasn’t meant to be. But that doesn’t mean that the love you once shared with that special one wasn’t true. It just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart. That shouldn’t stop you from expressing your feeling to your “love”. Don’t let your love destroy you. Don’t rely on it so much that when it ends, there is nothing left of you. That my friend is addiction. Not love. Love helps you live, it is supposed to make you happy, it is supposed to be your happy time. Don’t let is destroy you. And have faith. Have a belief that if it was meant to be, it will happen. And when it does, nothing can stop it and you will know.

                                        -K.