“I bought a new car.”
“Oh you did? I already had one. It is so much better than yours.”
“Oh, I have been having a miserable day.”
“Really? My day was worse. Much worse than yours.”
Haven’t we all met such people in our life? People who will always keep their happiness, their misery, their sorrow before anybody else’s. People who fail to look beyond that bubble of “self”.
A very common phrase that every person uses:
Look in the mirror before commenting anything.
“Aayine mai jaake dekh apne aap ko.”
So why exactly is this phrase used?
It is used for looking at ourselves before we say or act regarding something. When we look into the mirror, it is not only our physical appearance that is reflected. We see our inner self. Our soul. Our deepest secrets. Our ugly truths. We see beyond just skin and flesh. We see ourselves for who we are.
So how does this “reflection” be of any use to us in correcting our behavior and feelings towards another being?
It is a basic human instinct to connect more with a person who is going through a similar situation, a similar feeling, a similar emotion. We feel more empathetic towards someone who is living through something we have experienced. We look at them and see a faint hint of ourselves. And there is no better way to be there for someone when you put yourself in their shoes, isn’t it?
But there are a few who consider the “mirror” as a concrete wall in which only their emotions are allowed to exist. They look in the mirror not to develop a sense of empathy or understanding towards another person’s emotions, but as a means through which they can only exist with their experiences and wallow in their sorrow. They refuse to see beyond that concrete wall. They refuse to consider any emotion that is foreign to their bubble. All they see is “me, myself and I”.
This is not the worst part.
What is worse is that they expect others to consider their bubble too. They expect others to dwell upon and be a part of the emotions they go through. It does not matter what that other individual feels or is going through. All that matters is “them”.
We often look at these people with a sense of pity and we try to help them. Yes, people who dare to put someone else’s emotion before their’s do exist.
What happens to them? They get crushed under the weight of the wall they tried breaking.
The thing is, people are so satisfied with their own emotions that they do not want to feel anything else. They do not have the guts to feel the pain of others.
Hence, THE WALL.
When asked to look into the mirror to reflect upon someone else’s condition, what happens?
They see their own misery. They also manage to suck you into that void, a place where you feel nothing but their sadness and happiness.
You will smile when they do, you will laugh when they will, you will cry for them, with them.
No. Because your emotions are not allowed to exist. Because you need to feel what they do, not what you think you do.
So is there a way out of this?
There is. There always is.
The first step is to realise. Realise that the mirror we are looking in, is the wrong one. Realise that it is time to pick that thing up and let it shatter. Along with that, the immense feeling of self-pity, being self-centered, thinking about only “me”, will shatter. Realise that the proof of love is not to dwell in someone’s emotions, but it is that attempt they make to break down your mirror, your wall. Realise that each and every person is going through something. Something that is breaking them from the inside even when they refuse to show it to the outside world.
This realisation is all that takes to break down that wall, that mirror. Because, one we understand that, we see the world a bit clearly. We see that we weren’t the only ones who were trying to break down that wall. We had many who were trying to show us the real mirror.
The mirror that makes us a human.
A human who cares.
Without it, we are selfish people destroying every and anything around us.
Look at your mirror. See if it is the correct one.