Because in the end, when you lose someone, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody you cared about used to be.
The empty, the blank void in our hearts, in our life are always an atrocious reminder about the cruelty of life. Not always do we get to have the “happy ever after” we wished for with that “somebody”. All that life leaves us with is that shadow, with that thrusting reminder about who that person used to be. The books they like, the cup in which they liked their coffee, the chair they sat on, the song they danced to, the things they admired, the movie to which they laughed the most, they blanket they slept with..all pull us to themselves. Pull us to the scent they have left behind in those memories. The nullity their absence brings in our life haunts us. The persistent urge to have them back and to be able to feel their presence, their infectious joy, their smell, it weakens us to our every nerve. We miss their sole presence in the room.
But what is worse is when you miss the person who is seated right next to you. They are no longer who they used to be, or who they said they were. You look at them in the eye and see a completely different human being. Their smile is the same, but it does not lift your heart up. They smell the same, but it does not intoxicate you. This is when you start feeling helpless. Helpless by the truth that they have changed. The person you’ve know you whole life has put a mask on. The person you loved has disappeared deep beneath the shadows of that mask or maybe he wasn’t there at all. All that is there is the “Sillage“-the trail that lingers in the air after someone has left. And that is when my friend, you’ve truly lost someone.